"I don’t even want a boyfriend. I just want someone who wants to hang out all of the time, who thinks I’m the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me. And it makes me feel very stupid to tell you this because it makes me sound like a girl who wants to, like, go to brunch. And I really don’t want to go to brunch, and I don’t want you to sit on the couch while I shop or even meet my friends. I don’t even want that."